Lord Greystoke, Baby Oddbod and others of that ilk attend Asdan classes which are designed to give them a qualification for being inept at everything. I enjoy pointing out to them how ludicrously easy many of their Asdan tasks are so much that I wrote a song to sing to them during lessons.
They, of course, started to learn it and repeat it to their Asdan teacher who is now a ‘big fan’ also (my words, not hers). The other day she presented me with my own Asdan course book so I could see how worthwhile the whole thing is. I laughed, she huffed, I went off and added a new line to the ditty.
Here it is so far, additions will be posted as and when they happen. It’s designed to be chanted in a sort of singsong way with a pause before the ‘Asdan’; something like this:
Dum-di-dum-di-dumdiddy-dum (Pause) As-dan!
Making a sandwhich, cheese or ham: Asdan
Taking the beans out of the can: Asdan
Cracking an egg but missing the pan: Asdan
Making the tea to pass an exam: Asdan
Working in Tesco as hard as you can: Asdan
Getting a job driving a van: Asdan
Being on time because you ran: Asdan
Crossing the road by holding a hand: Asdan
