I’ve just sat in a Year 10 Maths class where the teacher was sitting next to a student, trying to help them. The conversation went like this:
Teacher: ‘Now you’ve listed the coordinates you have to plot them on the axis.
Johnny Head-in-the-air: ‘Uh-huh.’
Teacher: ‘Take your hand off my knee Johnny.’
Johnny Head-in-the-air: ‘Uh-huh.’
Teacher: ‘I mean it.’
Johnny Head-in-the-air: (Now stroking the Teacher’s arm) ‘But Sir, I have feelings for you….’
Teacher: (Trying to keep a straight face) ‘Try and act sensibly’
Johnny Head-in-the-air: ‘But Sir!’
Teacher: ‘That’s it; I’m phoning your parents.’
Johnny Head-in-the-air: ‘Oh come on Sir, you’re trying not to laugh.’
This is true and the matter is dropped. Johnny Head-in-the-air has a 1 hour detention already for this lesson so further action could be seen as vindictive and result in a general student uprising in the class. Much ineffectual shouting from both sides would ensue. Johnny Head-in-the-air looks around the room with his infectious grin to check that he is indeed the centre of attention before, having been reassured that this is the case, he returns to his work
Meanwhile I’m trying to help Krusty who tells me I make her laugh when I look at her. I do try not to look at her (it’s best, believe me) but she laughs anyway. At least she’s doing her work.
Behind me Mad Max, who has been sent out, is fumbling at the bottom of the door and sticking his ruler through the gap trying to attract his friend’s attention. Everyone studiously ignores him and waits for the end of the lesson.
I’m glad it’s Friday.
Before I can escape at the end of the day I’m accosted by SLAg, (my favourite student), who is waving a swollen and lacerated hand at me. She’s been bitten by a squirrel and fears she might have rabies.
I reassure her and offer her a Polo to ease her pain. It’s when you can help with the little things that the job becomes fulfilling. I don’t mention Tetnus and she heads off to enjoy her weekend.
